More Fun, Less Grind to Achieve your Goals
Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash
Ever wonder why some of your goals are easily achieved while others remain unobtainable? The key to successful goal attainment is to empower your subconscious mind to achieve the goal for you. However, letting your subconscious mind take ownership of your goals isn’t 100% straightforward. The subconscious requires a certain set of conditions to get the job done. By incorporating these tips, you will achieve your goals with more fun, less "work" and better results.
An unexpected blessing during COVID-19 has been the outdoor classes held in the neighborhood park near my house. Somehow, I have successfully avoided subjecting myself to Cross Fit, Muy Thai and Cardio Boot Camp, and opted instead for a Sound Bath session¹. After everyone was laying down with their eyes closed, we were asked to bring to mind our goals for 2021. Our instructions were to visualize ourselves in January 2022 having already accomplished our goals. What were we doing? Who were we with? What did it feel like?
This simple exercise brought on a sense of panic, "I should have signed up for the Cardio Boot Camp instead!". Placed on the center stage of my imagination, my goals were mushy, undefined and felt totally unrealistic. It was a Kindergarten Holiday Pageant gone bad. The one goal that I could visualize, was a Turkey-costumed child bursting into tears because making the time to accomplish it felt impossible. Since the point of the Sound Bath was to relax, I made a mental note to revisit the embarrassing state of my 2021 goals after the session.
As it goes with all things that I'm supposed to be paying attention to in my life, the very next day, the book I picked up to read covered the neuro-science of attaining one's goals. The insights expertly explained the curious experience I have had with my goals. While many of my goals have been attained faster and better than I ever imagined, my deepest, longest held goals remained unobtainable. I'd get started, get some traction, lose momentum, years go by and the goal still beckons like the Holy Grail. At face value, the likelihood of me attaining my goals was as good as betting on a horse race. After understanding the fundamentals of human physiology and goal setting, I hope to improve my odds. By sharing what I learned, hopefully you will improve your odds as well.
The key to successful goal attainment is to empower your subconscious mind to achieve the goal for you. It sounds crazy, but upon reflection of the goals that I have accomplished and have failed to accomplish, it certainly seemed to be the case. However, letting your subconscious mind take ownership of your goals isn't 100% straightforward. The subconscious requires a certain set of conditions to get the job done. If the path isn't clear, your goals will remain mysteriously out of reach.
The first step in paving a smooth path is to state your goal in the positive. The subconscious mind is lazy and stating something in the negative requires extra effort. Stating, "I don't want my muffin top" requires a translation to something more concrete like: "I am 10 pounds lighter" or "I can wear my Vivienne Westwood top with jeans" or simply, "I am fit". Eliminate the extra work and remove all speedbumps for your subconscious mind.
The next guideline takes positively stated goals a step further. Your goal should be focused on moving toward something versus away from something. A few years back I had the goal of working for a great boss, but whenever I thought about it, I envisioned the terrible bosses I had escaped. Sure enough, my next boss was kind-of-terrible. When you have goals that involve moving away from something, your subconscious thinks going from "bad" to "good" is the goal and will loop you back to the "bad". How this works is once you have escaped, your subconscious celebrates the win, gets bored and since it likes the feeling of winning, and takes you right back into a situation to get to "escape" and "win" again! I learned that I needed to define and visualize working with a highly supportive, self-aware, trusting boss, versus escaping a harsh, hypocritical, paranoid boss.
The third learning is to make the goal specific, in the present tense and with an achieve by date. Pay attention to your wording and make sure your goal describes the desired outcome. Take a moment to visualize "I want to have money" vs. "I have money". Your desired outcome is likely not "wanting" but "having". Also, be specific. If you only state, "I have money", then the next time you find a dollar bill on the sidewalk, your subconscious mind will excitedly check the box of having satisfied the goal! This is why you experience momentum in the beginning, but then for some unknown reason lose motivation to take further action towards your goal. You aren’t being specific enough and somewhere along the path, your subconscious mind figured it got the job done. A well-defined goal is, "There is $50,000 or better, free and clear, in my savings account by Jan 1, 2022."
An important step in goal setting is doing exactly what had shattered my world doing during the Sound Bath. You must visualize yourself having already achieved the goal. However, you have to do a little more work than what was outlined in debunked Law of Attraction book, "The Secret". You need to pay attention to how you are feeling. If there is any hesitation in your visualization, then you need to address any incongruencies. Why do you have this goal? Is this really your goal, your parents or a societal expectation? What will achieving this outcome do for you or others? What will you have to give up or lose when you achieve the goal? Some of the people you are closest to may resent your success because it shines a light on their own lack of courage to pursue their own dreams.
If your inner world is incongruent, your subconscious mind will follow the path of least resistance, which for me is Ben & Jerry's "Chocolate Fudge Brownie". So in order to harness your inner resources to get the job done and avoid an extra 10 pounds, you may have to do some deep work on yourself. You need to come to terms with any discrepancies in your stated goals and your beliefs, desires, relationships and behaviors.
If you feel you have a few demons to overcome, "The Dark Side of The Light Chasers", by Debbie Ford, while having an awkward woo-woo title, it is an excellent book to eliminate your inner conflict. "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay is also an excellent resource for restructuring your life. If reading isn't your thing, you can find a good coach or hypnotherapist that is trained in parts therapy².
Another important visualization exercise is to identify the indicators that let you know you are on the right path towards achieving your goal. This is where I realized I had been doing it all wrong. Your conscious mind operates linearly, while your subconscious mind does not. Creating complex decision trees and extensive checklists doesn't support your subconscious mind achieving your goal. It just makes your conscious mind feel exhausted at the thought of having a goal and to decide that binge watching "Kim's Convenience" is a much better use of your time.
Instead of creating a complex spiderweb of sub-goals, make them standalone goals. To measure your progress, it is good to identify a few quantitative indicators, and most importantly, to define a set of sensory cues. In addition to, "By June I am stepping 10,000 steps/day, 5 days a week", define sensory indicators such as, "When I wake up in the morning, I can't wait to complete the next physical action in support of my goal" or "As I get nearer to my goal, I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve". If you have a periodic check-in on how you are feeling, the more likely you are able to quickly course correct to stay on track.
Side note: if you are not feeling excited or energized by an action that is absolutely necessary to accomplish your goal, stop procrastinating and outsource it. Find someone who loves to do whatever it is that you don't want to do. If it really-100%-excuses-aside, cannot be outsourced, then focus on your "why", and create and visualize a reward for yourself when you complete it and get the job done. A friend coached her son through his Engineering degree by teaching him to create a simple list of the next three things he needed to do, with the third thing being something he enjoyed.
Finally, we all know that goals are achieved through physical action. This is usually where things fall apart. I run Operations and was raised in a family of Engineers so I over index on Process, Procedures and Project Plans. This is NOT how one should approach taking action on one's goals. As inferred earlier, the subconscious mind is like an eccentric and unpredictable Auntie or Uncle. Make it easy on your quirky subconscious self and just focus on completing the next physical action that needs to happen to move you closer to your goal.
How do you know what the next physical action is?
Start a "Future Journal". Instead of spending time on complex Gantt chart of key milestones or a long disparaging checklist, at the end of every day, simply spend 10 minutes capturing 2-3 highlights from the day, 2-3 things you learned and how it made you feel, and a note to your future self on what you have done in support of your goals and what you are planning to do next. As ideas pop into your head - write them down here - use pictures, symbols, etc. Get creative. Then periodically, go back and review these ideas and take action on the ones that call to you.
Sample Future Journal Entry:
In my experience, the goals that I have achieved usually involve a combination of action and luck. Rigorous clearing of the path and then relaxing into the flow allows for your goals to be achieved by your subconscious in an enjoyable fashion.
In Summary:
Key: Think of your conscious mind as the goal definer and your subconscious mind as the goal getter.
Your goals are:
Stated in the positive
Moving toward, not away, from something
Stated as if already achieved
Fully congruent with your entire being
A specifically defined outcome
A must achieve by date
Your action items:
Define success indicators - sensory & quantitative signs to let you know you are making progress
Visualize your future ‘goal-complete ‘ self (~1 min) and write in your "Future Journal" (~9 min) daily
Every day completing one physical action to move closer to your goal
Review your "Future Journal" every 5-10 days or when you are not sure what to do next
Play around and see what works for you!
One final tip if you don't know what your goals should be, but you feel unsatisfied with your status quo. The easiest way to identify your goals is to look at the people that spark envy or jealousy within you. We are taught that these emotions are "bad" and so often push these instances aside as quickly as possible. Instead, treat these emotions as lighthouses guiding you into harbor. Feel excited when you feel envy, as it is a sign there is something you deeply desire and can start taking action towards! When you feel a pang of envy meeting, reading or hearing about someone, take notice of what it is they have that you want. Create a realistic goal that gets you what they supposedly have that is lacking in your life. Sometimes you will find you really don't want what they have, but you're addicted to feeling bad about yourself. That is a topic for another time.
If you want to learn more about how to use neuroscience to improve your life, the materials I'm studying right now are: "The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming", by NLP Comprehensive and "NLP Practitioner" by Matt Barnett on Udemy.
Wishing everyone the successful achievement of their goals in 2021!
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I would love to hear about your relationship with your goals and how you have achieved them! Please share in the comments.
Special thanks to Patricia Madden for editing support.
¹For those uninitiated, a Sound Bath involves laying snuggled under blankets while expert musicians send healing energetic vibrations from Gongs, Crystal Singing Bowls, Chimes and other percussion instruments for an hour and a half (www.soundbathstudio.com). It is very relaxing and I highly recommend the experience.
²If you are looking for someone that can help you identify and resolve your inner conflict, my friend and mentor Jnana Gowan is a Certified Hypnotherapist that is highly skilled at helping others heal themselves.