Decisions, decisions…and Excel can’t help!
A former employee, Kay, recently reached out to me for coaching. She was supposed to start a new contractor position in 4 days, but had been approached by a growing Startup for an exciting permanent position. Her heart really wanted to pursue the Startup opportunity but she felt a lot of fear around letting go of the contract position she was about to start. She was leaning towards walking away from her heart’s desire for certainty.
Deciding between opportunities is never an easy decision. Walking away from a sure thing adds additional pressures that span from daily realities like paying bills to cultural beliefs such as, "A bird in the hand…". Being a person who loves the numbers-driven logic of an Excel spreadsheet, I deeply appreciate Ruth Chang's insightful TedTalk, where she defines hard choices as anything not easily quantifiable. Hard choices are where changing the equation doesn't make the answer any more obvious. Also, hard choices are not necessarily exclusive to big decisions.
For example, when deciding between having a salad or a burger, calculating if one cost $3 more or is 300 calories less, likely won't make the decision any easier. Ms. Chang advises the way through difficult, unquantifiable choices is to decide who you want to become. Once you are clear on who you want to be, then you can make a decision that best supports your future self. Every decision and action we make in the present shapes our future. You have to act like the person you want to be NOW.
Once Kay acknowledged that the Startup opportunity was more aligned to her future goals, we walked through all the areas that were causing her anxiety. Not trusting she would ace the remaining interviews. The financial pressure of waiting another month or longer to start working. Feeling disingenuous given she had already agreed to work for someone else. Finally, some regret that she was going to miss gaining the experience that had initially excited her about the contractor role as it was for a highly respected Silicon Valley Juggernaut.
In my own experience with difficult choices, if I don't address my anxieties I end up with a lot of sleepless nights. Kay and I addressed each anxiety with an action and a mindset.
Once Kay calmed her own fears and put herself in the Juggernaut’s hiring manager's shoes, she went to him with a proposal. Kay expressed her strong desire to work with them, but that she had an opportunity for a permanent staff position. She acknowledged that she was putting them in a difficult position and offered to commit to work for four weeks. This would give them time to hire someone else and she could train them. The hiring manager easily agreed and offered to keep her on if she didn't get the permanent position.
In addition to the unexpected wins in security, income and time for Kay, we defined new mindsets to support her decision. There was always a way to follow her heart's desire. She is not alone and her network is looking out for her. And most of all, she was getting comfortable operating with uncertainty.
Uncertainty is a part of life. Despite our best efforts, we have very little control of what happens at the macro level. Be clear on who you want to be, make decisions aligned to that vision and put forth your best effort. Whatever decision you make will be the right one.
Would love to hear about some of your difficult decisions and how you navigated them! Please share in the comments.
Special thanks to Patricia Madden for editing support.
Photo by Lubo Minar on Unsplash